I really appreciate this discussion. It took me decades to realize that I grew up in a household with a narcissistic parent. Naming it is helping me heal and realize that I'm not the crazy one. ... It's beyond frustrating that people thought it was a good idea to vote for a narcissist. My visceral reaction was that he'd obviously hurt people without remorse.
They’re simply mirroring. There are studies that show 1 in 6. When someone is trying to be your best friend very fast, or bond very quickly…bright red flag. There’s an amazing book called Unfuck your boundaries by Grace Harper. She does cuss a lot, but it’s an amazing book, short read, highly recommend. The best defense for any person in the cluster B DSM five category is strong boundaries. Those folks hate boundaries! They’re looking for low hanging fruit: empaths with flexible or no boundaries.
The thing with these people is that they are mirroring you, and so they’re not being authentic and so it’s hard to know what they’re capable of until you see them for who they are. I never would’ve dreamed that my mother was capable of what she was capable of until I found out That she murdered my dad‘s dog, and then once I put the pieces together, it occurred to me that she murdered my dad‘s dog in preparation to harm me as a four year old and she was just practicing on my dad‘s dog to see if she could get away with it — which she did not, in fact she was caught and was arrested and put in handcuffs — which I didn’t find out about until two summers ago, and I’m 53 years old now.
It’s a complicated story but the point of me telling you this is that you don’t know what these people are capable of because they lie, not just about individual things, but about who they are in general. They play characters so that you don’t know them. They don’t want you to know them. They don’t want anyone to know them.
Absolutely. They are impossible to know because they never really give anyone the whole story.
But they are capable of every vicious, awful thing we can imagine. I pretty much assume they’ll do the worst things they can get away with, and they will keep resetting those boundaries until someone stops them.
Exactly you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can put it on others. I journal when I’m feeling that way, and I get as descriptive as possible about how I’m feeling. It really helps. I’m a big believer in posttraumatic growth.
I really appreciate this discussion. It took me decades to realize that I grew up in a household with a narcissistic parent. Naming it is helping me heal and realize that I'm not the crazy one. ... It's beyond frustrating that people thought it was a good idea to vote for a narcissist. My visceral reaction was that he'd obviously hurt people without remorse.
They’re simply mirroring. There are studies that show 1 in 6. When someone is trying to be your best friend very fast, or bond very quickly…bright red flag. There’s an amazing book called Unfuck your boundaries by Grace Harper. She does cuss a lot, but it’s an amazing book, short read, highly recommend. The best defense for any person in the cluster B DSM five category is strong boundaries. Those folks hate boundaries! They’re looking for low hanging fruit: empaths with flexible or no boundaries.
The thing with these people is that they are mirroring you, and so they’re not being authentic and so it’s hard to know what they’re capable of until you see them for who they are. I never would’ve dreamed that my mother was capable of what she was capable of until I found out That she murdered my dad‘s dog, and then once I put the pieces together, it occurred to me that she murdered my dad‘s dog in preparation to harm me as a four year old and she was just practicing on my dad‘s dog to see if she could get away with it — which she did not, in fact she was caught and was arrested and put in handcuffs — which I didn’t find out about until two summers ago, and I’m 53 years old now.
It’s a complicated story but the point of me telling you this is that you don’t know what these people are capable of because they lie, not just about individual things, but about who they are in general. They play characters so that you don’t know them. They don’t want you to know them. They don’t want anyone to know them.
Absolutely. They are impossible to know because they never really give anyone the whole story.
But they are capable of every vicious, awful thing we can imagine. I pretty much assume they’ll do the worst things they can get away with, and they will keep resetting those boundaries until someone stops them.
Exactly you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can put it on others. I journal when I’m feeling that way, and I get as descriptive as possible about how I’m feeling. It really helps. I’m a big believer in posttraumatic growth.